What to Do When You Struggle With Communication in Marriage
When my husband and I first started dating, our communication skills were terrible! We didn’t know how to effectively express our feelings, so arguments ensued almost daily. We handled our problems by lashing out in anger or either bottling them all up until one of us exploded. There was rarely ever any calm discussions or respectfully stating our issues. We were clueless when it came to this communication thing! We eventually grew out of this stage and after a long learning process, we started communicating in a healthy way. Even so, it was a rough time!
I know we aren’t the only couple who has struggled with this. Many marriages fail because of incorrect methods of communication or the lack thereof. I believe that a lot of it has to do with the fact that many people aren’t taught how to effectively communicate with others in the first place!
If you and your spouse are having problems when it comes to communication, I might have some tips to help you out!
Make Time for Communication
This is the hard part! Actually sitting down and taking time out of your day to talk with your spouse is the first step to better communication. Life gets crazy with work, kids, and extracurricular activities and sometimes it is easy to put communicating with your spouse on the back burner. Be sure to quit that habit today! I believe that is one of the biggest contributors to communication issues in marriage.
If you are having trouble finding time to do this, talk when you are laying in bed at night, get up earlier in the mornings, or send the kids to Grandma’s for a bit. Marriage, along with proper communication, requires work. If you want to communicate with your spouse better, you have to make time for it!
Discuss Expectations or Problems you May be Having
Take this time to dig deep and truly express yourself to your spouse. Respectfully and lovingly explain how you feel and what you want your spouse to do. Make this a time of no yelling, no judging, and neither of you can get up and walk away. Seek to understand each other’s viewpoints. Listen to each other intently. Aim to listen more than you speak, and truly seek full reconciliation with your spouse.
I know this is easier said than done! Trust me, I’ve been there! If you really want to have better communication though, you have to work through these tough discussions and problems. Marriage is all about working together and coming to a middle ground. Use this time to come to an agreement that you both will be happy with.
Make a Plan
Don’t let this be just a one-time thing! Make a plan to do this regularly. Have weekly meetings together and discuss what your plans are for the next week and/or talk about the struggles you’ve had in the past week. Even if you have no problems or struggles to discuss, still do it! Talk about your goals, dreams, and how God is working in your life. Pray together. Ask God to strengthen your marriage! I can guarantee you won’t regret this time together.
Are you and your husband struggling to effectively communicate? If so, what are your struggles? Are you willing to put in the time it takes to become better at it? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!
If you want to invest in your marriage and learning how to truly become one with your husband, I have the perfect resource for you! I just released my new e-book “Becoming One: A 30-Day Devotional for Wives”! It is designed to help wives grow closer to their husbands while also growing closer to God. To learn more about it and purchase, go to From This Day Forward Blog.
Madison is a follower of Jesus, wife to Steven, and mommy to her fur baby Bentley. She strives to encourage and equip wives to grow closer to God and their husbands on a daily basis. She loves to spend time in the Word of God, go on dates with her husband, whip up treats in the kitchen and travel the world when she can. In all that she does, she strives to please God most of all.